In Humor/Tragedy, The Kilauea Bakery Blog on January 31, 2011 at 7:23 am
She’ll probably leave you.
How fathomless is your love? You say wood chairs she says plastic. You say the menu needs Green Goddess dressing she says vinaigrette. You say it needs more salt she says it needs less. Simple disagreements that all pile up to “Honey I wish you would to come to bed.” and she says “Honey, not tonight “.
Does your wife or husband like your idea? Have they promised to stand behind you every step of the way? Are they encouraging you to do this? Make sure they are with you, committed to the point that they will quit their real job, ignore the children and mortgage the house. Other wise when things get bad and they will, your spouse will certainly choose to make you sleep on the couch.
But on the bright side when you are both too tired for the bedroom you can at least eat out at your own place for free, if you can agree on which table to sit at.
In Humor/Tragedy, The Kilauea Bakery Blog on January 29, 2011 at 5:39 am
Sleeplessness. Just because you close the restaurant late at night doesn’t mean your day is over. Employees will call you in the middle of the night and tell you crazy lies like “I can’t make it to work tomorrow. I was at a bus stop in Honolulu on my way to see my mother who is in the hospital. Suddenly a truck careened into the bus stop, I lunged to push an old woman out of the way of the truck. I saved her but was hit myself and now I’m in the hospital too. It was terrible.” (true story) Customers will call you at all hours to tell you what you should do. Just as you are drifting off to sleep the phone will ring. You don’t want to miss the call because is could be someone calling in sick. Or not. It just might be a customer suggesting you make that kind of crust that has cheese inside it just like Pizza Hut’s. Try to respond politely before hanging up.
Sleep will be something you get when you can. You will find yourself napping in places you never used to consider relaxing. Falling asleep in the dentist’s chair for example, while the dentist is drilling your teeth. You will fall asleep in places where no one can bother you. You may learn to love sitting on Airplanes. They make you turn off your phone, offer you drinks and give you a big chair to sleep in for hours and hours…
Query; If the phone rings and you don’t answer it did anyone call?
In Humor/Tragedy, The Kilauea Bakery Blog on January 28, 2011 at 4:51 am
Anxiety. If you open a restaurant expect at some point a good dose of anxiety, that feeling of dread and impending doom. It could be a sign that you are doing something unusual and new or it could be a sign that you are doing something very wrong and fiscally dangerous. It is a warning from the brain to proceed slowly and thoughtfully. In regard to stepping into the unknown of owning a business anxiety attacks only happen during that intense phase just before opening. Once you are open and there is no hope of turning back, trust me, you will be too busy to have an anxiety attack. Compared to skydiving or tow-in surfing the duration of your anxiety can be rather long. Once you start withdrawing money and preparing to open a wide range of variables will cause delays.
You may find yourself doing strange things like sleeping in the bathtub or drinking tequila for breakfast. But let’s save that for the paragraph on the high probability of self medication among restaurateurs.